I just returned from devouring the Signal vs. Noise Blog.

The blog is championed by 37 signals and it is a gem.

Here’s why.

It cuts through the corporate b.s. and delivers stuff you can use. I have a soft spot for that brand of clear-eyed practicality. Moreover, I shouldn’t be surprised that this would come from the creators of Basecamp and Highrise.

But while romping through the posts, I realized that straight-talk is a dying art among independent professionals. Afterall, we are encouraged to dress up and sell $5 words when a nickel phrase is all that’s needed.  We get lost in snazzy jargon and hopelessly idiotic phrases that makes us feel good but leave our clients cold.

We need to stop this and I mean now.

The best copy tells it like it is. Repeats it. Then sells it.  Simplicity can sell billion dollar government contracts and $10 ebooks.  Here’s why.  I bet that our clients secretly hunger for a consultant that makes it easy for them to understand:

1. Proposals

2. Statements of Work

3. Invoices

4. And all the fancy pants strategy documents too.

I bet that being plain-spoken allows our clients to get up close and enjoy the process with us.  Our words no longer create distance and barriers.  We look and sound like normal people.

And, I believe that normal, smart, simple people can outearn, outsell, and outhustle the buzzword prima donnas.

Here’s what you can do to jump on the plain-spoken bandwagon:

1. Go to your website and eliminate all 4 syllable words.

2. Now axe the jargon and buzzwords

3. Trash unnecessary adjectives and adverbs.

4. Shift to the 2nd (You) tense and start speaking to your readers, clients, and prospects

5. Rinse and repeat with every shred of literature in your business.  Be ruthless.

You gotta do this now.

Tell me what YOU think.

Tiger Woods is in quite a pickle right now.

He’ slammed his car into a hydrant and a tree and now is being pressured to explain why.

For the record, I don’t give a darn why – but this copy junkie is intrigued by something…

I believe that this story will hang around for the next few days because Mr. Woods is refusing to bow to the power of a simple word…

“because”

“Because” completes the curiosity equation for all of us.

• I was late for the meeting because….
• I yelled at you because…..
• There’s a dent in the car because…..

Without “the reason” our brains click into overdrive creating fiction to fill the void.

“Tiger woods ran into a tree because….”

No answer from Woods means we lose our collective minds for a week.

What does this have to do with copywriting? A ton my friend, a ton.

You see, our need for a reason is constant.  It must be satisfied at all costs. Excellent copywriters know that you always must give a good reason for anything you offer, claim, or brag about.

Try this on -

• I am offering this ridiculously cheap deal because – a clerical error led to my getting twice as many of this widget than I can affordably store.  I need them out of my warehouse now.
• I am giving free patient consultations because I’m new to the area and need to meet as many new faces as possible.
• I am offering this guarantee because I want to prove to you that this offer isn’t too good to be true.

I cheated a bit on the last one – to show you that “because” works even if the reason is um – debatable.

Take a look at your marketing materials.  Do you need to explain yourself?

People don’t give a damn about you.

As you are talking, they are hearing just enough to decide how to talk about themselves. They are listening for their name. They are evaluating if you are a “cool”  based on the attention you shower on them.

That’s harsh. But once you cozy up to this notion you will instantly start to write great copy.

The best copy is obsessed with the reader.  A salesletter should read like a BFF who never talks about themselves and is hopelessly loyal (read devoted to the other person). Every sentence should start and end with the reader’s problem and how you can help.

Do this and your prospect will immediately believe that you get it.

Take a you focus and watch your commenters describe you as “plugged in”, “insightful”, and “on-the-mark”.  We all love the “great listeners”

Pull out your copy and go through it line-by-line.  Ask yourself – “What in this for the reader?”.  If there’s nothing but jargon-filled, schmutz, then revise or yank the sentence.

There is one small tweak to this rule:

It’s ok to include a brief bio about your history…as long as you explicitly let your reader know that your experience will help them.

Now let’s take a step back.  I understand why this hard for so many copywriters.  You’re human.  It’s darn near impossible to focus on the other person in the room. Resist the urge to rationalize your way back into discussion. Believe me, it won’t work.  Readers call it B.S. when you try to cleverly “butt yourself into the conversation”.

Afterall, you can show off your intelligence, wisdom, and street smarts by writing copy that sells.

Kind ‘of a strange title here…this is where I’m going.

Ever see a 4 year old girl get into her mom’s make-up?  Lipstick smeared, mascara streaked, and patches of blush.  It’s cute on a little girl.  It’s scandalous on a website.  Stay with me here…

Most salesletters today are a psychedelic smattering of highlighting, bold lettering, red headlines, italics, drop shadows, and other unfortunate “copy makeup”

The copywriter desperately want to call your attention to well…everything.

And the reader spends more time navigating the makeup than reading the copy.  Being cute has drowned out being persuasive.  A mortal sin.

Avoid this mistake by taking a cue from the old school masters – only use bold and underline. Let the tempo of your sentences.  The length of your paragraphs. Inspired word choice and grab you by your eyeballs headlines to get your reader’s attention.

Seduce your prospect into reading your words.

Here’s a few other tips – just in case you find your “highlighting” addiction too hard to kick.

1. Write your copy in the notepad application.  Notepad comes with the Microsoft OS, and it’s utilitarian features will stop you from getting to fancy-smancy.

2. Do the “font-free” drill.  Open word and start typing.  Keep your fingers on the keys – don’t go for the mouse. You’ll be surprised how tough it is to resist the makeup.

3. Write fast.  Push yourself to write quickly.  This will prevent you from stopping to beautify your work.

The idea is to actually sell and not impress. Lost the copy makeup – show the copy’s natural beauty and watch your results improve.

This story is just incredible…

A boy entered a coffee shop and sat at a table. A
waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How
much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked.
“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
studied a bunch of coins. “How much is a dish of
plain ice cream?” he then asked.

People were now waiting for his table, and the
waitress was growing impatient. “Thirty-five cents,”
she said angrily.

The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the
plain ice cream.”

The waitress brought the ice cream and walked
away. The boy finished, paid the cashier, and
departed. When the waitress came back, she
swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed
neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and
five pennies – her tip.

Riddle me this.  When that boy comes back in the diner – do you think he will get this waitress’s undivided attention?

Yep, I think so too.

So what does this have to do with writing addictive copy?  Everything.

The moral of that little heart warmer, was that the boy sincerely thought of the waitresses’ value.  He was willing to get less for himself to make sure the waitress got her “fair share”.

This is “Sincere Respect”.  Inject it into your copywriting and your reader will feel it instantly.  They will know that you are “in it for THEM and not yourself”.

Here’s how you do it:

Respect Tip #1: Give a Freebie

Addictive salesletters almost always give the reader real information that they can use immediately. Don’t be stingy. Give your prospect a real sample of what you are selling.  If you sell a physical product, give them tips and hints on how to use it effectively.  If you are selling a service, give them a free consultation.

Respect Tip #2: Give an Unforgettable Guarantee

I love guarantees because they demonstrate your sincere belief in your product.  The better the guarantee, the deeper the more confidence you plant in the heart of your reader.  A great guarantee says “I respect your time, your money, and your trust.”

Respect Tip #3: Tell The Truth

Do what you say.  If you say that you raise the price after 100 orders – do it.  If you shutting down membership enrollment after 2 weeks – do it!  Don’t play games with your prospects. False scarcity. Fictional experience. Hyped Income Proof just insults your reader’s intelligence.

Guess what?  You can often make up for product deficits – lack of testimonials, light proof, and a limited track record if you sincerely respect your reader.  Tell the truth and let them now what you will do to win their trust.

Like the boy, you will get your readers attention and respect – which is worth a fortune.

In my last post I sucker punch Internet Marketing.

My gripe targeted the “incredibly expanding promise”.  Take a look at your in-box and you’ll see what I mean. Every guru is killing themselves to best each other with an income claim.

I also diagnosed the market as being in what Eugene Schwartz calls the “The 2nd Age of Sophistication” where claims matter less and less.

Copywriters will see the results when their clients complain that their bombastic headlines are failing to work like in days past.

This is where the Atkins Diet comes to the rescue. The weight loss industry is a brutally competitive bloodsport where products appear and vanish quicker than you can say “carb”. Copywriters in this industry are razor-sharp students of human nature.  They also learned decades ago that simply promising to “Lose 50 pounds in 7 days” wasn’t going to cut it.

Their solution was ingenious.  Focus on the Method first (and the claim second).

They reasoned that people still wanted to lose weight – without exercising or changing their eating habits.  They just didn’t believe the claims.  But…

When a new product comes out with a curious name like “The Atkins Diet” the prospect’s curiosity is heightened.  Then they read the subheadlines and see a mysterious reference to the Glycemic index. Now they are hooked.  Deep down they wonder, “Is this new method the one I’ve been waiting for?”

And Voila! a sale is made.

This is what Schwarz describes as the 3rd Age of Sophistication. I prefer to title it the Geek Stage.  If you are competing in a niche that has reached the Geek Stage – you need to focus on the method first and the claim second.

In Internet Marketing this means giving your “step-by-step” process a provocative name.  Giving the reader a peek inside the process so they can see that your method is new.  Telling a compelling story about how your new method was invented. Then, when their curiosity is at a fever pitch – hit them with the claim.

If you salesletter is no longer selling with its bold claim headline, then consider trumpeting the Process. It’s a proven winner.

Personally, I’m seriously considering boycotting salesletters with template headlines….

You know the ones -

• They laughed when I took out my wallet but when they looked inside….
• How to get zillions of dollars in just 10 microseconds…guaranteed!
• Who else wants to make millions while they sleep!

Yep, you can see them coming a mile away. And..that’s why they don’t work.  Not because they are horrible headlines (well these are);but because most online niches have mature audiences. This is what I mean…

A mature audience niche is one that has been fed a steady littany of bold claims for years. These folks have heard it all and they probably already own a product that claimed to solve their problem.  They are cynical. They may have even been burned before.

They also have highly tuned and sophisticated “ad radars”.  So, they can see your headline for what it is…a headline for another ad for a product that they don’t want or trust.

Take a look at the headline for your product.  Is it hiding in plain sight? Does it holler – “I’m another ad! Come look!”

If so, then your salesletter or squeeze page is probably dying a slow death.

How to Bring Your Headline Back to Life

First scrap it.

Second – use curiosity, provocation, and good ole’ fashion flirting to get your prospect to take notice.  Consider taking your benefit out of your ad – and teasing it instead.

For example, my hero Clayton Makepeace made a bundle with this headline…”There’s a  Devil in the Dow!”.  Irresistible.

Another great one…”The Handwriting is on the Wall”…or how about this one I just wrote for a client…”Busted and Broke at 65″

Got your attention right? Why? Because these headline tickle your “Why Bone”. They get you wondering – what does he mean?

And that’s the magic question that gets a prospect pulled into an ad -

By the way….there are certain times when a direct benefit headline will still work well. Feel free to use it when your market is unaware of a problem they have or your solution for that problem.  For example, the green(energy conservation) market is relatively young and benefit headlines are still working well.

Go and take a look at your headline right now.  Freshen it up a bit with a little curiosity and see your sales soar.